Monday, November 12, 2012

Open Heart, Open Adoption Guest Post

My wife and I had a tendency to burn through those home pregnancy tests like crazy. If one came up negative we’d say, “Maybe we tried at the wrong time of day” or “Maybe that test strip was too old.” We’d go get a new one and try again later, always with the same result. We wanted so badly for my wife to be pregnant that we interpreted just about anything to mean we’d finally succeeded. If she wasn’t feeling well- that had to mean she was experiencing some “morning sickness,” right? If she expected her period to start at a certain time and it was 10 minutes late, “Hooray, we did it!” Of course, that was never the case for us.
Meeting with infertility specialists was both wonderful and frustrating at the same time. It was frustrating because they could never find anything wrong with either of us. Sperm count- check. Sonogram- check. No runny nose- check. Check check check. Ugh. I know it’s usually supposed to be good news when a doctor or nurse tells you you’re looking nice and healthy, but we were hoping to be told otherwise. Not that we didn’t want to be healthy, of course, but it was really frustrating to be trying for years and years to get pregnant and nobody could tell us why. We wanted some doctor to say, “Oh, there’s the problem. Take this pill and you’ll be pregnant by dinner time.” That wasn’t in the cards, though. All we got was test after test without finding a problem, and then procedure after procedure without finding any results.
That was good, though. Sure, it was frustrating at the time- really frustrating, demoralizing, and sad- but it lead us to where we are today. It was important for us at the time to feel like we WANTED adoption, and we felt like we should try it the “normal” way first. We could have kept going with the infertility stuff- yes. But we came to a point where we didn’t want to ride the infertility train anymore. Lots of people continue, taking the next step to try the next procedure that may or may not work (and often times it does work for them), but we were done. We just didn’t want to do it anymore. Of course, that didn’t stop our friends (and even people who we barely knew) from offering up their unsolicited advice about sure ways to get pregnant, but we were done. Sure, we would have been happy to end up pregnant, but we were done making it our main focus. We WANTED to adopt.
Adoption was something that had been in the back of our mind ever since we first started to realize we weren’t getting pregnant like all of our family and friends seemed to be able to. It was our choice to hop off the train during the infertility treatments. It was our choice and that gave us a tiny bit of satisfaction knowing we were finally in charge of something rather than hoping and waiting and hoping and waiting for the stork to come the “normal way.” We were in charge and guess what! We were excited.
I know a lot of couples that always knew they wanted to adopt, so the decision was easy for them. That wasn’t us, though. We are infertile and we don’t know why. Eight years of trying has pretty much left us assuming it’s not in our cards. Adoption is the best thing to happen to us, and we did it because we wanted to! We didn’t “resort” to adoption because we felt it was our only choice. We just realized one day that God was calling us to something else and we embrace that.  As a friend of mine always says- Adoption isn’t our plan B, it’s the plan that was meant to be.

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Open Adoption, Open Heart

The world of adoption has changed dramatically over the past twenty years. No longer do biological parents have to say goodbye to their child forever. They now have more options when deciding the type of adoption to pursue, such as open adoption. Open adoption creates the opportunity for a special relationship between biological parents, the adoptive parents, and the child.

 Open Adoption, Open Heart is an inspiring and true story, which takes the reader deeper into the feelings and emotions experienced by adoptive parents. As you read this incredible story, you will experience the joys, difficulties, and amazing victories facing adoptive couples. Russell and his wife, Jammie, invite you to share in their inspiring and heartwarming journey.



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From the Author: While my book's primary audience was thought to be those hoping to adopt, close to half of the books I've sold are simply people who want to read about our story and how adoption is different now than it used to be- and they have not adopted nor do they plan to adopt.



About the Author:

Russell Elkins was born on Andrews Air Force Base near Washington, D.C., in the fall of 1977. Along with his five siblings, he and his military family moved around a lot, living in eight different houses by the time he left for college at age 17. Although his family movedaway from Fallon, Nevada, just a few months after he moved out, he still considers that little oasis in the desert to be his childhood hometown. He and his family now live in the Boise, Idaho area.

Russell has always been a family man at heart, looking forward to the day when he could be a husband and a father. It took him a little while, but eventually his eyes locked onto a beautiful blonde, and he has never looked away. Russell and Jammie were married in 2004. Years of struggling with infertility left Russell and Jammie with a decision to make and their lives changed dramatically when they decided to adopt.

Russell and Jammie have adopted two beautiful children, Ira and Hazel, and have embraced their role as parents through open adoption. Both are actively engaged in the adoption community by communicating through social media, taking part in discussion panels, and writing songs about adoption. Russell also writes a weekly post for Adoption.com and contributes regularly to Adoption Voices Magazine.


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Tour Giveaway:
$25 Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash from Author Russell Elkins
Ends 12/23/12
Open to anyone who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent's permission. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

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Blog Tour Schedule: http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2012/10/open-heart- open-adoption-blog-tour.html


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